An 'anonymous source' has sent BEARD Hockey officials their unique takes on what's gone down in the Dispersal Draft so far. Here is the final chapter!
Hello to all General Managers from across the BEARD Hockey league!
Now that we have hit a point where the bread and butter of every team is visible and we start moving into the "farm-fill" stage of the draft, I (BEARD Hockey officials state they have NO idea who this is!) have decided to write an article detailing the highs and lows for each team.
This 4 part feature is not meant to be taken too seriously. So please...relax and enjoy the read!
Article 4 of 4: THE PACIFIC DIVISION
Vegas Golden Knights
Best pick: Claude Giroux, Round 3 - GM Keith Evans could've gone in many directions here. But he chose to get an incredible playmaker to centre the $23.25 million dollar "MAC" truck line of Ovechkin, Stone, and Giroux. WATCH OUT.
Worst Pick: Brayden McNabb, Round 7 - What the Golden Knights didn't need here was a UFA-to-be with so many good contracts still on the board.
Team Spirit Animal: Stickman-style snake drawn on loose leaf - It has one big line that is scary. But once you get past that, it becomes paper-thin and easy to destroy.
Best pick: Tomas Hertl, Round 3 - He is skilled, in his prime, and on a four-year contract. What's not to love...from Round 3 too!
Worst Pick: Elvis Merzlikins, Round 5 - GM Dean "Don't Call Me Mike" Richter could've had a first-rate defenseman in Alexander Edler with this pick. Instead, he opted for a second-rate goalie. I bet Edler stops more pucks this year than Elvis!
Team Spirit Animal: Caterpillar - This creepy, ugly, hairy animal is only at its beginning. Give it time, and it will emerge from it's cocoon as something magnificent.
Best pick: Leon Draisaitl, Round 1 - Probably should've gone 1st overall, but good on GM Theo Pepper to grab this phenom at the #2 spot.
Worst Pick: Prospect Package #15, Round 3 - Okay, I get it. Young players, develop, win later, etc. But Adam Fox and Nick Suzuki were both still available.
Team Spirit Animal: Common Robin - There just isn't a real personality to this team. It's not awful, but it's not that great either.
Best pick: Nikolaj Ehlers, Round 3 - Likely their top scorer this season, Ehlers is young and skilled, and likely to be re-signed for four more years at the end of the season.
Worst Pick: Joonas Korpisalo, Round 5 - GM David Springgay got an almost exact copy of Korpisalo in Round 24 named Jonathan Bernier. Ouch!
Team Spirit Animal: Naked Mole Rat - A little bit of 'nasty' mixed with a whole lot of silly, and not enough depth to survive a North American Winter.
Best pick: Matt Duchene, Round 4 - GM Shaun Young picks up a smooth skating, balanced centre with a good contract right in his prime. Great pickup!
Worst Pick: Mark Giordano, Round 1 - The guy has skills, but at 37 years old, this is a pick that could have waited a couple rounds.
Team Spirit Animal: Ocean quahog clam - This is the oldest living animal ever discovered. Oddly enough, the Ducks pro roster is close to the same age at 486 total years.
Los Angeles Kings
Best pick: Kyle Connor, Round 2 - At 23 years old, Connor could garner the best goals-to-age ratio in the league this year. And the next, and the next...
Worst Pick: Elias Lindholm, Round 1 - GM Dave Covin hasn't had a single weak pick in this draft - but this is his "least best".
Team Spirit Animal: Shifty-eyed Chameleon - This incredible beast is effective and calculated. But the next time you look at it, it will likely look completely different. LOADS of two-year contracts!
San Jose Sharks
Best pick: Oscar Klefbom, Round 6 - A big bad defenceman that has a decent pass, and he's locked in for four years. Well done!
Worst Pick: Pierre-Luc Dubois, Round 2 - GM Owen Rimmer took a good player in a spot usually reserved for great players.
Team Spirit Animal: Prolific Big-Bummed Spider - The webbing will be catching all sorts of pucks...at least until the Sharks put an actual goaltender in front of it.
Best pick: Jake Guentzel, Round 3 - GM Aaron Sanderson hit the jackpot on this one. An upcoming RFA, but LOADED with talent!
Worst Pick: Ryan Suter, Round 9 - This team was expensive before they picked up the $8 million dollar man, but this really put them over the edge. Hopefully the money wasted here is worth the effort.
Team Spirit Animal: Chain-smoking Pitbull - This team is really dangerous, but does it have the endurance to keep up after 40 minutes of moving?
Hope you enjoyed it!
Part 3: Central Division