Blues Announce New GM Hire in Snider

St. Louis Blues owner Tom Stillman stepped to the mic and introduced his new President of Operations and General Manager Todd Snider on Saturday.

The following is a transcript of the proceedings earlier today in St. Louis. No word on whether Snider could face disciplinary action as a result of his end-of-conference tantrum.

Todd Snider: I‘d to thank Mr. Stillman and the St. Louis organization for giving me this opportunity. I‘d like to also thank my wife and family for their undying support in this new adventure. I believe through hard work and a successful draft we will be able to produce a winning product on and off the ice. We as a Blues organization are hopeful we will consistently challenge to be a top Beard Hockey Team.

At this time, I'll take any questions you have.

Elliott Friedman: Todd, you're a relatively new GM compared to the other GM's in the league. How do you think you ‘ll stack up?

Todd Snider: Elliott, I can tell you with what I lack in experience, I more then make up for in enthusiasm and drive.

Jeremy Rutherford: Have you decided on who will be your first pick?

Todd Snider: Jeremy, that will depend on our position in the draft. We have mapped out 32 scenarios for our first pick, I can tell you that.

Elliott Friedman: Have you decided on a coach yet? I imagine you are looking for an experienced coach due to your lack of experience.

Todd Snider: Elliott, we have a few coaches in mind and as I said before, I'm not worried about my lack of experience.

Jim Thomas: What type of team can we expect to see on the ice?

Todd Snider: We are hoping to put a fast, exciting young team on the ice that will grow together, win, and compete for many championships.

Elliott Friedman: Just wondering why Mr. Stillman wouldn’t bring in a experienced GM here and have you learn behind him for a couple of years.

Todd Snider (pointing his finger at Elliott and shouting): What’s your problem Friedman? Why are you busting my balls about this? Are you mad you had to shave off that pubic hair on your face?

Elliott Friedman: Hey, I m just wondering. You are inexperienced...

Todd Snider (cutting Friedman off, and throwing the mic in his direction): Go f**k yourself Friedman. Torts was right - you are an asshole! When did you put on skates last, you f***ing (mutters under his breath).

At this point, Snider stormed out of interview and Friedman was left to contemplate the meaning of life.

Mr. Stillman: I apologize for that outburst, but that is why I hired him. He s got the fire in him to lead this team to the top! Thank you all for coming today.