A list for Kris Kringle as holidays near, for all of BEARD Hockey who wonder and cheer. "Little A" takes us through each team's ask from Santa!
Dear Santa Puck,
I have built a list on behalf of the GM's of the BEARD Hockey League, wishing you well and helping you understand what each of us and our teams would like for Christmas!
Yours truly,
Little 'A'
Anaheim:
For Michael Stafford, a 6 pack of "NEV-R-AGE", for him to give to any players he wants.... He can have some too if he likes ;)
Arizona:
For Colin Small, a brand new logo and jersey design, to help his team look at least half as good as they play, and some Christmas cheer in whatever kind of bottle he prefers.
Boston:
For Tye Graczyk, instant knowledge of how to pronounce his last name automatically imbued into all of his acquaintances. And another passing centre... That would be nice.
Buffalo:
For Tom Gidlow, a link to TSN showing Gabriel Landeskog as a Centre, so he can play the way he was meant to in the BEARD, and a couple of plane tickets to Manitoba, so I can buy him a beer and show him around.
Calgary:
For Theo Pepper, a relocation of the Flames to ANYWHERE ELSE, and a full "Men-In-Black" style memory erasure of all things 'Calgary Flames'.....but keep Theo around, please.
Carolina:
For Jay Williams, all of the NHL Hurricanes traded to him in the BEARD, and a Skeletor action figure, just because.
Chicago:
For Dan Bacon, some face-off training for his top 2 centres, and something, ANYTHING, to help him with his self confidence.
Colorado:
For Vince Gibbons, a weight bench for his team to use when they are not out eating salads, and smaller nets to put behind his dynamic goaltending duo.
Columbus:
For Tommy Barr, a pair of glasses that switches the names and look for the Columbus Blue Jackets with the Philadelphia Flyers, so in his mind, he is the Flyers GM.
Dallas:
For Marc-Andre Laberge, a friend that is willing to trade the world for his top player, Mika Zibanejad, and some champagne for afterwards.
Detroit:
For Mathias Lundgren, Mika Zibanejad, and hope that it all works out for him in the end.
Edmonton:
For Dean Richter, somebody to pass the puck around to his forwards, and some long underwear to help him enjoy his new home close to his team.
Florida Panthers:
For Trevor Cook, some caffeine for his scorers, to help them wakeup and do their jobs, and a nice warm Canada Goose Jacket to help him through the coming Winter in his home town.
Los Angeles:
For Dave Covin, a defenseman that can pass, or a force-field to protect Elias Lindholm from harm.
Minnesota:
For Josh Rose, a promise that his team will continue to overperform, and then a guarantee that he wins the draft lottery anyways.
Montreal:
For Lennart Westman, a better and faster way to get in touch with other GM's, so he doesn't miss out on any potential deals.... ALL ABOARD!
Nashville:
For Scott Davidson, somebody to distract him away from little Wolf, a little defense, a little goaltending, and a lot of hair dye!
New Jersey:
For Corey Chernuka, an expansion of the upper salary cap limit, and a little bit extra to skim for his family.
Long Island:
For Jussi Kalmi, a quicker way to replace all of his beautiful prospects that he used to have on his farm, and the alignment of his time zone with one of the many in North America.
New York:
For Sean McAndrews, somebody that gels with Connor McJesus, and a helicopter so his sweet wife doesn't always have to put the hard miles in on their way to the hills.
Ottawa:
For Mike Bell, somebody to take Jack Eichel off of his hands and give him a fantastic return in exchange..... And a bottle of wine of course!
Philadelphia:
For Eric Wolf, another restraining order against Scott Davidson, and a top 6 defenseman or three...
Pittsburgh:
For Matt Swackhammer, a speeding up of the space-time continuum so he can watch his team compete, and a longer winter season, because he doesn't hide his love for it well.
San Jose:
For the Sharks, a General Manager with a cool hand, and a goaltender to help save him.
Seattle:
For David Springgay, a goaltender, defenseman, winger, and a miracle to go along with all of those.
St. Louis:
For Todd Snider, a compass to help him choose the direction he wants his team to go in, and a leash for Nazem.
Tampa:
For Tyler Heatherington, the patience required to see this through, and not blow it up.... And some new custom fit pads, just because ;)
Toronto:
For Sean Hanley, a Canucks or Jets onesie, so nobody at the nursery laughs at his precious child, and of course, only the best of health and happiness for his family.
Vancouver:
For myself, Aaron Sanderson, a year without injuries and a nice room temperature bottle of Sambuca.
Vegas:
For Keith Evans, de-fense, de-fense, de-fense, and of course a few weeks off from work, paid.
Washington:
For Shawn Davis, a way to bottle "essence of Jakub Vrana", and save it for later in case he cools down.
Winnipeg:
For the Jets, a GM with experience and skill that won't tank this really well built team.
Now Santa, as you can see, I am not asking for much, so please be kind this holiday season, and stay safe. Oh, and watch out for Scotty Davidson when you go to his home...